Originally posted 11/06/2013 to Phantasmagorias:
These months have been hectic. Trying to fit everything into my week is becoming more and more difficult. Welcome to the real world. This “real” world always seemed like something to look forward to, but it never felt like I was ever going to actually be a part of it. “When I grow up” seemed to be something I would just say. It never really hit me that I actually had to grow up, move away, make my own money, and be my own person. I have always viewed things in this way. Everything ahead of me seems make-believe until, suddenly, I’m in the middle of it. Some call it denial; I choose to call it “living in the moment”. As I began my journey to college, I figured I understood the adult world enough to live in it. I knew money could run out fast, supporting yourself was not as fun as it seemed, and that people make stupid mistakes – but I never felt connected to those realities. My parents always paid for the groceries, I never had to live alone, and mistakes were always small and easily fixed- oh the joys of being a child. However, as time has gone by, I have received various wake-up calls that I may need to adjust to the adult world a bit more than I had planned.
It started last week. I was supposed to get a rather “large” (large to a college student is not actually large) paycheck a few weeks ago – still nothing. I checked my email for news of packages, my mailbox, etc. Nothing, nada, no dough. Normally this would not have bothered me – but I was running out of money. The past few weeks I had continuously told myself “yes” when it came to spending money. I had a “large” check coming my way, I had another check in my wallet that I had to send home to mom to cash (my bank is only in TN), and I had upcoming work that I would make money on. However, my bank account ran lower and lower and the money that was coming my way, well, wasn’t coming my way. I was left with eight dollars. Eight dollars!! And no way was I going to touch my savings. So I spent a week spending nothing but two dollars on a tea at Sonic. It made me think about my spending habits a lot more. I decided I was going to be as frugal as possible when all my money came in!
This brings me to yesterday. So I got my budget set up for November, my money all safely tucked away in my checking and savings accounts, and I decide to do my grocery shopping first so I didn’t spend my grocery money on something stupid (smart, right? I know, I’m a genius). As I go through the grocery store, I decide I am going to try and buy the cheapest brand of items to save money. I remembered I needed detergent. Now I must note here that I had not bought detergent since I left for college, and in all honesty, my mom bought it for me. So I walk up to the detergent isle and I look at the price. The detergent was ten dollars. TEN DOLLARS! Thus began my astonished rant, which my mother received through various texts. Does society not want me to be clean? Why do I need to pay ten dollars for a small bottle of detergent?! I was appalled. After I recovered from the detergent incident, I continued on my way.
I needed bread. Everyone knows that wheat bread is much healthier than white bread; and so trying to be a good, healthy member of society I picked up a loaf of wheat. I happened to glance at the price of the white bread. White bread costs about half of what wheat does. WHITE BREAD IS CHEAPER THAN WHEAT! What is that even about?! I became more distraught with society as my mother laughed at my continuous rants. So instead of being a healthy, clean citizen, American society wants me to be fat and smelly. However, I have never really cared what American society wants, so I decided to spend the money and buy the detergent, bread, and various other items until I could find a way to rebel against this cruel economical system. And whilst making this powerful, thought provoking decision I almost ran over a very attractive young man with my grocery cart. My life in a nutshell.
What I have come to realize is that the real world can suck. Money always seems to run out, your patience is always being tested, and the most attractive guys seem to appear at the most awkward times. However, life goes on. If I run out of money I don’t spend any, if I lose my patience I do my best to find it next time, and if a cute guy catches me in an awkward situation I hope and pray that the “cute, awkward, girl-next-door type” is the vibe I’m putting off. That’s about all I can do. But even if I lose all my money, can never find my patience, and the only vibe that the guy gets is “Run! This chick is crazy!” I know I will somehow still make it in this crazy, messed up world. Sometimes that’s all I need to get me through the day.
It started last week. I was supposed to get a rather “large” (large to a college student is not actually large) paycheck a few weeks ago – still nothing. I checked my email for news of packages, my mailbox, etc. Nothing, nada, no dough. Normally this would not have bothered me – but I was running out of money. The past few weeks I had continuously told myself “yes” when it came to spending money. I had a “large” check coming my way, I had another check in my wallet that I had to send home to mom to cash (my bank is only in TN), and I had upcoming work that I would make money on. However, my bank account ran lower and lower and the money that was coming my way, well, wasn’t coming my way. I was left with eight dollars. Eight dollars!! And no way was I going to touch my savings. So I spent a week spending nothing but two dollars on a tea at Sonic. It made me think about my spending habits a lot more. I decided I was going to be as frugal as possible when all my money came in!
This brings me to yesterday. So I got my budget set up for November, my money all safely tucked away in my checking and savings accounts, and I decide to do my grocery shopping first so I didn’t spend my grocery money on something stupid (smart, right? I know, I’m a genius). As I go through the grocery store, I decide I am going to try and buy the cheapest brand of items to save money. I remembered I needed detergent. Now I must note here that I had not bought detergent since I left for college, and in all honesty, my mom bought it for me. So I walk up to the detergent isle and I look at the price. The detergent was ten dollars. TEN DOLLARS! Thus began my astonished rant, which my mother received through various texts. Does society not want me to be clean? Why do I need to pay ten dollars for a small bottle of detergent?! I was appalled. After I recovered from the detergent incident, I continued on my way.
I needed bread. Everyone knows that wheat bread is much healthier than white bread; and so trying to be a good, healthy member of society I picked up a loaf of wheat. I happened to glance at the price of the white bread. White bread costs about half of what wheat does. WHITE BREAD IS CHEAPER THAN WHEAT! What is that even about?! I became more distraught with society as my mother laughed at my continuous rants. So instead of being a healthy, clean citizen, American society wants me to be fat and smelly. However, I have never really cared what American society wants, so I decided to spend the money and buy the detergent, bread, and various other items until I could find a way to rebel against this cruel economical system. And whilst making this powerful, thought provoking decision I almost ran over a very attractive young man with my grocery cart. My life in a nutshell.
What I have come to realize is that the real world can suck. Money always seems to run out, your patience is always being tested, and the most attractive guys seem to appear at the most awkward times. However, life goes on. If I run out of money I don’t spend any, if I lose my patience I do my best to find it next time, and if a cute guy catches me in an awkward situation I hope and pray that the “cute, awkward, girl-next-door type” is the vibe I’m putting off. That’s about all I can do. But even if I lose all my money, can never find my patience, and the only vibe that the guy gets is “Run! This chick is crazy!” I know I will somehow still make it in this crazy, messed up world. Sometimes that’s all I need to get me through the day.
Me ranting to my mother while she tries to have a normal conversation with me.
The dreaded items I feel like I spent my life savings on (okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration).